I am coming to realise that I *always* have a layer of stress or anxiety lurking just below the surface of my consciousness (that's if it's not out there for all to see, which it frequently is).
For all my talk about my work (art) being about representation (signification etc), I suppose it actually *is* expressive, in that it's (becoming more and more) a sublimation of my anxieties (about time running out, my not-perfectness, lots of other things). Which might be stuff that shouldn't be indulged, that should remain below the surface. Sublimatedly. Because surfaces are fragile, and I'm not sure I can walk around with all my guts spilling out all the time ... which leads me to a pro-unselfawareness position, see, the weakness of which I'm sure my dear readers would recognise and consequently reject. "Maintain the surface for the sake of preserving the status quo? Never! Break it down!"
(those are my readers speaking).
Anyway, there are a lot of people in the art world who speak sense. I forget to focus on them. Or forget to be rigorous enough to look hard enough for them and listen properly.
I suppose for me art's a safe place to strip down the boundaries of meaning without risk (risk of losing one's grip on meaning in the real world: one's grip on reality).
Sublimation.
Is that noble?
Not So Sure.
Only if it heals or something. The worry is that it perpetuates the issues or negativity that are being sublimated, or gives you a reason to keep unhelpful thoughts s freshly watered.
Heh
I just want to feel connected. Is that too much to ask?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I'll so get to this one. (And your email.) (Sorry!) (Love.)
Much more could be said in a less public forum but in essence: I think a certain level of tension (stress, maybe not anxiety) when dealing with the so-called 'real world' (*spits*) is normal and, for normal people - as opposed to the invisible enlightened superelite - necessary. When you're playing a game, it pays to be alert. If not alarmed.
I sublimate a lot; it keeps me sane and able to function. I also have spaces where I can let it all spill out and be truly liable for nothing. In dreams, for one. And sometimes awake as well. It is here, by and large, that The Magic Happens.
Sometimes it happens in The Real World, but often in such a way that I won't even remember what I did to make it happen, or why.
The trick is bringing it back with you into the collective delusion, which is to say The Real World. Everyone has to find their own way(s) of doing this. Whatever works, y'know?
That is My View.
*curtseys*
To clarify: by 'sublimate', in this context, I mean 'hide things from myself'.
If the doors of perception were cleansed, man would see everything as it is: infinite. And be Syd Barrett, gibbering uselessly in a corner.
In other words, it may not be Healthy. But it is necessary. Because The World ain't Healthy.
The good news is: a game can be made of it. The mind is recognisable as a striptease show playing to itself. (And anyone else who's paying attention.)
In other news: maybe we're terms-clashing, but I'm intrigued by this comment about yr work being representational as opposed to expressive. How can you represent something without expressing yourself??
Y'know, you're not a fimo simulacra rendering machine. And even if you were, you'd still be reflecting the views of your manufacturers.
I am too a fimo simulacra rendering machine! Ish.
Post a Comment