Monday, May 01, 2006

Chilly, the elf who cannot love

Are you fucking kidding me?

Rigorous STANDARDS?

I mean, that's sweet and all ... Teigs, I'm genuinely touched. If only that you cared enough to check on my spot. (OK, you probably had some sneaky e-thing that emailed you to tell you I had posted). Nonetheless, though. STANdards. RIGorous.

Because I was feeling pretty down in the dumps. I've had a superficially light meal with the ex tonight, so now I fucking hate everything again.

OK, I'll go out on a limb. Generalities are not intereresting, now are they. We ate for about 30 minutes and then that was that. He didn't even want to have a drink with me (and this is someone who can drink). Now I'm a goddamned obliGAtion. I felt so miserable after I came home that I looked up this which caused me to burst into tears (I SAID it was a limb) and go all foetal on the couch. Until my flatmate rang. I said, I've got the sniffles. And THAT's all I'm GONNA say about it.

I'm SICK of feeling crappy. Time to goddamned well cheer up already. I'm losing my sense of humour n all. I only laugh at things in a snide, bitter kind of way. You know that bit in Napoleon Dynamite? That scene, when he's with Trisha at the dance, and she waves to her friends and they wave back excitedly and she goes over to them? And then Napoleon comes back from the loo and is all alone and sees HIS friends and waves to them and acts like he's gesturally communicating with them but really they don't see him because they've having a good time without him?

That makes me laugh like crazy.

AAAAanyway.

This is a bit weird - I mean, I hardly know you. Or - god, worse - I do know you ...

But the upshot is I'm not a lurker any more. Now I have a half-life to call my own!

(beat)

!!

I feel better now. Thanks.

4 comments:

teigan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
teigan said...

So glad you're feeling better. Was almost going to have to say:

"Gee, I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy. But y'know... maybe if you didn't put yourself down so much (yes, our standards are goddamn rigorous! Believe it), care about what exes think of you, read stupid articles by psychologists, and like snide, bitter movies like Napoleon Dynamite.. you'd feel better. Look at me! I don't do any of those things and I feel *great*!"

Which is what people will tend to do if you advertise that you're feeling crappy.

It's incredibly obnoxious of them though, so I'm pleased I didn't have to.

teigan said...

PS And I'm so pleased you've joined the blogosphere. It's cruelly ironic timing what with my seppuku and all, but that's okay. Sorry, that's what I really should have said first, eh. Oh well.

Help! I'm turning into Bentendo. Not that there's anything wrong with him but he's somebody else.

Ew! Somebody else! Somebody else!

teigan said...

heh