Wednesday, September 23, 2009

These days

I feel almost physically sick when I check my email these days. I would be really happy not to have to have it any more, except obviously I have to.

This feeling has been current for some time. One of the results of it is that most of my correspondents have pretty much given up on me, so I hardly have any emails when I do check. In one way, this is pleasing, as I don't have to answer any emails (which I don't know why makes me feel wrong sometimes - I think it's not my preferred way to interact with people: I'm reflective enough as it is); in another way, I feel sad because I'm losing touch with people. Which is very bad.

In other news, I was going to post the pictures I took from my vantage point high over Glebe and Annandale of the post-apocalyptic [-looking] orange dust storm that woke me up at 5.30am (something pounds on the exterior wall of the bedroom during gale force winds and it's not conducive to sweet dreams - and for once it wasn't the nightmare neighbours, more on whom later). But everyone else in the world already posted them. Here, look.

It was a very unsettling thing to wake up, not merely because I see that time of the morning perhaps twice a year at most, but because it looked like a mammoth super-fire was roaring in from Western Sydney. All the windows of our place were open, and in my sleepy state I couldn't understand why I couldn't smell the smoke. I had a flashback to the late eighties and thought the end of the world was nigh. And there were not yet pictures of red sky on the Herald website, so I thought maybe all the journalists had been liquified. Once I had looked up BOM and seen that the meteorologists were still living, breathing and updating their site, I relaxed a bit. Couldn't go back to sleep, though (see tree issue, previous paragraph).

I took photos to show MW when he woke up but it was extraordinarily still completely orange when the proper day started about two hours later. Now there's a yucky film of dust over everything in my studio, because of the vents-I-haven't-yet-found-a-stepladder-to-climb-up-on-and-cover-with-plastic-or-paper-or-something-because-of-the-white-dust-that-blows-in-through-them-when-there's-wind. Fortunately all the fragile masterpieces-in-progress are covered in glad wrap (or as they'd say in Adrian Mole or The Young Ones, 'cling film'. [Cling film, heh]). Dustiness is a place my work goes to in its nightmares.

I've just been in the library so I'm all full of mental blurgh. I don't mean mental 'blah' like 'meh', I mean blurgh like 'urge to blurt things out'.

I so loved Adrian Mole. I always think of him when I'm sorting through 'the heavy papers' on the weekend.

Other things are progressing pleasingly. Time is always a problem; but if there was no time there couldn't be any doing at all so I suppose I shouldn't complain that it's passing.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

I have a similar problem with email. There are several email conversations that I'd like to be having, but freeze when a blank email is in front of me. Of all the news I have, of all the things I could say, why choose anything particular? It's also a job that's going to take a while and I can't get enthusiastic about it.

I want to hear more about the neighbours.

And see your photos of the red sky.

The energy efficiency technician just dropped by; nice guy.

Charlie Sofo said...

Admittedly,I also had an obsession with Adrian Mole. It was his neurosis that I loved.

wortwut said...

Charlie: I think I could see myself more clearly after reading AM. Right down to the cul-de-sac. I think I also liked that, even though he pained the reader frequently, he was just himself, different to others, and was ok with that. Adrian Mole may well have been my first encounter with the word 'intellectual'. There's a pleasing conflict in there between relating and judging.
Blah de blah.

Charlie Sofo said...

That's true. I also saw a lot of myself in him. I think I also modeled myself on him, which is a bit embarrassing.

A pleasing conflict between art and life?

(as an aside, to comment on your blog, Blogger asks you to type a special word to verify that you're not a spambot. the word for this comment is

"dessersl"

)

Charlie Sofo said...

"expri"

Charlie Sofo said...

"keramen"

Charlie Sofo said...

"carkee!

wortwut said...

Carkee? Is that a trick word? Because a spambot would just enter it while a human would know that it's really spelt car key
... or khaki ...

No anyway I meant a conflict (wrong word - maybe 'frission' between relating to Adrian Mole and judging him. Like, I fear to watch yet I cannot look away, because it's kind of too real. I think of him often:
- getting his nose stuck to his model aeroplane because he wants to know what glue sniffing is like
- painting his bedroom black but having to go over each of Noddy's hat bells with a marker because they keep showing through
- secretly picking up the broken glass from the bottles that he and Barry Kent's gang have smashed on the street (because a little kid might get cut from it)

And I think about his parents, too.