I am not sure what to do with myself. So many big productions (shows x 2, new job begun, moving whole house, parental visit) just completed. So many big productions yet to be mounted. I am not sure where to start.
Perhaps I should do my tax. Or write my Asialink application. Or proposals for shows. Or go to the studio and do some work.
I am not sure. All of these things need doing.
Of course, I haven't seen the Simpsons movie yet ... is it any good?
28 comments:
I've been a bit the same, sort of..
Chirpier, these last few days - but not sure what to do with myself.
(Tonight I just feel wiped again sigh - but in general: chirpier but wildly unfocussed.)
Today I did a load of warsh, went to the gym, had a driving lesson, fired my driving instructor, picked out favourite photos for portfoliage purposes, sat next to a panda on a tramstop, went to work for a briefing then came home early coz i felt totally fucking drained all of a sudden.. i was going to make a stirfry but i just had a kebab on the way home. Now maybe I'll do the dishes and go to bed and read my book.
Reading still seems indulgent, but I figure I'm allowed coz I'm feel too tired to do anything else.
For someone so tired this has been a very very long comment.
I wonder if I have met my goal for winter. Maybe I haven't. I can't really tell. Which is probably a bad sign. No, don't think like that Teigs.
Your parents came to visit too?
Was it good?
Yeah, The Simpsons movie. Haven't seen it either. There's lots of movies I haven't seen. It's overwhelming. It makes me tired. I'm tired now.
So tired.
I think things are on the up, my friend.
Repeat after me: reading is good; reading is healthy; reading should be encouraged.
Fuck yeah!
I did, in fact, go to bed and read my book - and got totally totally into it, although it was incredibly grim and did little to enhance my mood; I read about 80 pages. Had to force myself to stop, otherwise i might have finished it. I've decided that next I'm going to read The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nighttime but I'll have to buy it, and I can't afford to do that this week.
Do your tax - I did mine about six weeks ago, it was totally easy. I lodged over the phone, the entire job took about 45 minutes.
Your tax is probably a fair bit more complex than mine.
But even so - do it, do it. You'll get money and shit. It's totally worth doing. Also, you should always do tedious things like tax before meaningful things like going to the studio and making art.
Freakley is going to help me with my application. I should totally not stress, she says; she knows what they want from me.
I'm not stressed because I know I won't get in anyway. If I was serious I'd apply more widely. It's just a practice run.
Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me
>I think things are on the up, my
>friend.
I think so too!
It's a bit two steps forward two steps back round my way at the moment but the overall trajectory seems well upward and shit.
I was going to link the word 'book' up there to the book i'm reading on amazon but i set up the link then totally forgot, and shit.
Well, I won't make *that* mistake again. *nods*
reading is good
reading is healthy
reading should be encouraged
i read more and more
i like to read in my spare time
i like to read
i am reading a lot
i like to read
i am an avid reader
i am reading more and more
i like to read
reading is good
reading is healthy
i like to read
divine avowed etheral disciples
disciples etheral angels divine
i like to read, and things are on the up and up
think they are
yes they are
think they are
Yes!
*exhales, happily exhausted*
I am focussed and in control of my affairs
I am decisive and purposeful in my actions
I use my time meaningfully and well
In accordance with my needs, wishes, desires and goals
I am decisive
And purposeful in my actions and behaviour
I move effortlessly towards my goals
I always know what to do
And where to direct my attention
When to focus
And when to relax
I know what to do
I know what to do
I know what to do
And I do it well
um, good.
I might use some of those. I'm so happy Freakley is going to help you! You are doing all the right things.
Yes, my tax will take a couple of days to prepare then I'll go see my accountant who will lodge it.
SSSSOOOO many receipts to type up.
so what are you reading?
etc
>I might use some of those.
Well, they were formulated at least half with you in mind.. that's why i posted them in your comments.
>I'm so happy Freakley is going to help you!
Me too; she's a star
She's a starburst exploding in a field of infinite possibility
I like her
She's discombobulating but hugely inspiring
If someone as wildly discombobulated as her can be an art superstar, there's hope for all of us
>Yes, my tax will take a couple of
>days to prepare then I'll go see
>my accountant who will lodge it.
I think you should focus on doing your tax. Get it done. That's what I would do etc
I am reading Dolly Sen's autobiography The World Is Full Of Laughter
She is another art hero of mine
If I was Wesley Willis, I would write a song about her, like this:
You are the woman who has the plans
You have got it all figured out
You were diagnosed with psychosis at 14 and dropped out of school
You come from an abusive family and your whole life everyone around you told you you would never amount to anything!
You were severely depressed for many years
To this day you experience auditory hallucinations
But you are making a success of being mad
Dolly Sen
Dolly Sen
Dolly Sen
You decided you wanted to be a writer
The people at the DSS thought you were suffering from delusions of grandeur
Because you wouldn't aim for a more realistic career working in Selfridges
But you showed them good
Dolly Sen
Dolly Sen
Dolly Sen
You wrote several novels in periods of mania and self-published them
Then you wrote your autobiography in 2002
You also write poetry and do spoken word performances
You make short films and are currently studying film at the University of the Arts in London
Your music project Sugar Psychosis is friends with The Mishukis on Myspace
Dolly Sen
Dolly Sen
Dolly Sen
Rock over London
Rock on Chicago
Blockbuster Video
Wow, what a difference!
I don't know about this whole visual diary thing though
I am mostly just writing lots of words, and random doodles
It feels alien; I think i'm taking it too seriously
There's something there, though
It will come together if I make a habit of it, i figger
It will become an integral part of my practice
My practice is integral
All the pieces fit together somehow
My brain knows what to do
I must get out of my own way
And go to the gym, also
I must get up from the computer and go to the gym
Then I will lodge my initial application forms and register with VTAC
Yes I will
Yes I will
Yes I will.
you are totally on fire
you are the new wesley willis
you are up sometimes and down
at other times
tei-eigan
tei-eigan
tei-eigan
tei-eigan
Media monitors is Australia's number one media intelligence agency.
you can stick things in the vapd too you know
it could be a place for found things
:)
>you are the new wesley willis
I wish! (Actually I don't.)
There can only be one.
I did once write & record a song about Wesley Willis, in the style of Wesley Willis. It was called "Wesley Willis". I was quite proud of it.
>you are up sometimes and down
>at other times
This is so true.
>vapd
?
Hey, Dolly wrote to me today! I sent her this fairly self-absorbed whingey email last week. I'm too embarrassed by what I wrote to see what she wrote back.
Oy, the terrible narcissism.
We're having a party tomorrow night. I will read it then when I am drunk(er than I am now).
Ella Hooper has written to me four times on MySpace also.
Teh internet - it's good for making contact with one's art heroes.
In other news, Lady J has nominated me as "Most likely to be aroused by an inanimate object" via Superlatives on Facebook.
I'm not sure whether to be touched or insulted.
Have I mentioned that it's all about me?
cripes love i cannae keep up
vapd = visual arts diary
inanimate objects - is it a computer?
party - yay that sounds like fun
pictures please
what's the occasion?
... was the reading is good song also based on wesley? i didn't feel that at first, but now i can read it any other way
we could just do all of this in the comments
screw posting!
posting schmosting.
NO! keep posting, your posts are good
(it's lovely that you keep this here blog basically for an audience of one - but you shouldn't; you should whore it more and cultivate a Following)
the affirmations were just affirmations, but i see what you mean
the party is officially a house-cooling / late birthday for Sean
it's basically his happening and kind of last minute and half assed
he just wanted to have a party before he moves back to his Mum's on the 2nd and can't have any more parties
it's making me kind of sad.. it's reminding me of the awesome beautiful party we had around the time he moved in, about a year ago
but i'm starting to feel a bit party-y
i think i'ma get drunk and have a nice time
>inanimate objects - is it a
>computer?
i don't know what she had in mind.. but actually i kinda do
i know what she was getting at
i just don't know if it was meant to be a snark or if it was meant to be affectionate
and i'm annoyed at myself for caring
it's annoying - sadness about the J thing keeps dragging me down whenever i start to feel like i'm on the up
we shared so much, we had such big plans etc blah blah
it's put me back at least a month already
and what's almost worse is it's making me start to dislike her - just coz the *situation* makes me feel shit - which is daft and stupid
STOP IT TEIGS STOP IT STOP IT
Not any more. NO MORE.
I'm going to buy dip and listen to music.
Party!
*nods*
>it's annoying - sadness about the J >thing keeps dragging me down >whenever i start to feel like i'm on >the up
I understand how that feels. But it's probably a bit healthier to feel sad and grieve a bit instead of just not feeling anything.
I have to say that for me distance was a very good contributor to 'getting over it'. Which is tricky when you've launched straight back into friendship.
it's normal to cultivate some dislike, it's protective. it'll pass. let yourself feel how you feel. the wind through the trees, hungover, different. whatever.
la di da
also, I *do* have a couple of other irregular readers. I think.
also, I *do* have a couple of other irregular readers. I think.
ya do indeed. and i actually feel a bit guilty chiming in on this thread, public as it is, but i just wanted to say:
1) affectionate
b) i understand
iii) methink emma give good advice
hope you don't mind me popping in -- i mean only well and will go away now if you want.
xx j
hey, i feel a bit odd having this thread publicly at all!
but, yes, the low readership makes things simpler.
:)
*kicks self in face*
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