Example of irony

I can't even spell committment.

On reflection, perhaps that's more of a Freudian illiteracy than something ironic. Alanis, can you help me out here?

ah-ha

I am "sick" today.

Is Alan Partridge funnier when experienced through a naproxen sodium fog or is its humour one of those cumulative things? Sometimes when the jokes are lame (and I don't mean the 'chatosphere' kind of jokes that 'Alan' makes on purpose), the show becomes exactly the thing it's mimicking. Like when Alan knocks down a streaker and signs off his show with his face pressed up into a naked man's arse. I mean, the humour becomes parochial or something, slotting right into the style of British TV that Coogan is making fun of. A form following content sorta thing. Or is that content following form?

I guess I've come to it a bit late too. The outfits and whatnot have lost their specific connotations in a given time and place and just look generically daggy. But the character and his desperation are as palpable as they would ever have been ! !

Time to get on with the aforementioned art project. While I'm sitting here.

This ...

... is the boy I had a massive crush on, until he and his family moved back to South Africa at the end of year nine. Wait, no - this is the man that the boy I had a crush on grew up to be.

He once broke up a fight in my Vis Comm class, when everyone else was cheering and laughing like Beavis and Butthead. My hero.

Who'd a thought it - Head of Investments, eh.

"you're crazy"

I am going through a really trashy stage. It's all about boozing it up. Yay, booze.

Today I got a phone call from my fresh ex. We don't talk so much any more. He asked me what I was doing, I'm all 'working, of course' (I was at work). We chatted for about 40 seconds. Then he went 'I've just done this really strange thing - I meant to call the other **** and I've called you instead [how embarassment!]. I've just realised who I"m talking to. So ... how are you going, anyway? You going to that opening tonight [blah blah blah]'

Needless to say, we didn't then have a lovely chat about life etc. I got the hell off the phone asap and felt depressed the rest of the day. Call me crazy, but I find the blase-ness really upsetting. I don't see the benefit of pretending everything's nice and neat and happy when it's actually ugly, traumatic and miserable. Much better just not to speak.

Had a nice night, though. If a little desperate. I still have sore forearms from ice skating on Monday ... it's a very positive injury. I wear it like an invisible bruisey badge of niceness.

Good Clean Fun.

Hear that, reader? When in doubt, take to the ice. Wear two pairs of socks though. And good gloves.

Wasted youth

Far OUT it's 4am! This is what comes of being indolent all day ... I just amn't tired! It's not all lost time though, I have found some fabulous apparel to bid for on ebay, I will post if I win anything good ... but since I am a very cheap bidder it's not too likely.

Tomorrow I shall go into the city and buy records, make pictures and do yoga maybe. All my art project ideas get the mental kybosh before I even start ... that way I don't have to start. Clever, huh? As a short-term strategy I mean.

Shelves ahoy!

OK, I take it all (the unposted post) back! Now we have brand new shelving (at least someone has been productive today) and can now spend our saturday night arranging books! Taking them out of boxes! Saying hello to old friends and meeting new ones! Maybe I should make it into a wine-drinking pizza-eating records-playing book arranging hula luau party. I think yes. There's gotta be someone around up for that other than me ... I think it could be very NICE.

Not posting post

Just letting you know that I'm not posting that post that I just wrote because I don't want anyone to feel compelled to shoot themselves in the head just to get away from the godforsaken banality contained within.

It's a public service I'm providing here. Not boring anyone to death.

Try harder you say? Not me! O-ho no!

Favourite blogs to read

I am going to link my favourite blogs to read in an effort to win friends and raise the bar just a little bit above complete tidal wave of consciousness.

But all that technical stuff is so tedious ... really this is a teaser.

Whose blogs will be listed? Will it be yours? Will it be theirs? Will there be more than two?

... I fear not.

So, one day, I am going to do this.

Yay for everything.

Superficiality of art world shock

Guess what? The art world is all about surface; I don't think it's a very emotionally healthy environment.

And you know what else?? I think sincerity has totally gone out of fashion. No-one cares for earnestness any more. It's hard work to be superficially entertaining and witty on a surface level, like, all the time. Don't people get tired? I can't do that. It aint one of my special skills. But what are one's choices when candour is such old hat?

Eh?

I'm all for amusement, but not at the price of what I really think. I'd like what I really think to be the source of amusement.

... do you think this is the second beer talking? I always ask questions of my blog, as though it can answer me. 'What ho, ether? (ether?)'++

++ the second 'ether' was an echo. Did you get that? Yes, you.

(beat)

*sigh*

Fuzzy end of lollipop shock

OK, today went from crappy to worse than crappy, but I've managed to turn it around in the last quarter by booking a trip to Thailand! My sister promises me it will be very cheap and that we will meet some boys called Hans and Sven and that no-one will regret anything. I'm regretting the $870 airfare I just spontaneously added to the outstanding $2200 on my credit card but hey; ...um ... nope, still regretting that part.

Why can't exes just leave the country, eh? Do they have to just show up in places unexpectedly? It's so ANNOYING. It completely ruins my whole pretend-you-disappeared-off-the-face-of-the-earth system, a strategy whose success thus far was FURTHER thwarted with information regarding said exes current life WHICH I've been choosing to believe was all over post-me.

I mean it's just selfish.

Lucky I'm going to Thailand. We will stay in simple bungalows and kayak about eating mangoes. That fixes everything, uh-huh. No really.

The facts don't lie; an occasional series part 1

OK lets look at some statistics ...

Total comments on blog thus far: 28

Teigan 14
Wortwut (ie self) 9
Mishuki 4
deleted 2
Li 1

Given that Teigan has committed seppuku (and while my own comments may reflect the Greatest Love of All I don't call myself a particularly enlightening commenter), I'd say Mishuki wins the prize !! If there was one!

What happened to the other 75 nobodies who viewed my profile? ... turned away in disgust, that's what they did.

How about if I put up a video of myself tapdancing? How cheap and whorish should one be to get the numbers up??

And my moonwalk is hilARIOUS

God, what a great life!!!

Yeah-huh!!

*beat*

!

Results of survey

I've analysed the data and must now conclude that's its better for the soul to be a lovable tit/harmless fool and always be dancing like a wally than to bore the pants off some perfectly interesting normal musician about why you hate [insert annoying thing here].

Keeps em off the streets, see.

Parties without dancing - what's WITH that?

satdee night

so, last night I went to a party. I was pretty happy as it has been a long time since I went to a party. However, upon arriving and existing throughout said party, it proed to be a bit of a dud. Perfectly nice, but not anything to take photos of and write to ones's blog about. Kinda dull. So in order to make things more fun I guzzled lots of scotch, interfered with the music and tried to get people to dance. By dropping to the floor in a kind of bridge thing and thrusting upwards, one arm ceilingwards, a la Push It. While Push It played, natch. I learnt two things.

1. Getting laughs is all very well but it can alienate people from the dance floor.
and,
2. Dancing like that gives you sore ribs and neck the next day.

Survey -

which is a better person to be at a so-so party -
a- the one dancing like an idiot sans lampshade on head but only just
b- always in the kitchen (tricky when party is in one room aptmt)
c- ...I've run out of ideas.
d- see above

So much for early night shock

Q. What has just happened when Sorority Boys comes on TV and you think to yourself 'finally, something a bit sensible to watch whose narrative I can really invest in'?

A. You've just finished watching Scary Movie 3

You know what ...

... getting the point is probably a better outcome than being right.

keep playing those word games

Saw a show today that involved a video featuring repeated singing of the phrase 'old grey mashy aint what she used to be, aint what she used to be, aint what she used to be'.

Now, you and I both know it's mare.

But does the artist? Of course he does. It fits in ... 'whoops! I got it "wrong"'

Things that challenge my self-righteousness are possibly healthy. Likely.

Now I have 'great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts' stuck in my head. When will this world of pain come to an end!

Banal personal revelations

Today I couldn't believe how openly stupid people were being to me at work. My incredulousness was palpable ... I was all 'what are you THINKING?' 'am I the only SANE ONE here?' etc etc. It was like a twilight zone of stupid.

Then when I get home my flatmate assures me (with a conspiratorially superior air) that it's because Mercury is in retrograde, communication's all fucked! Ha!

So that cleared everything up. Just gotta sit out the waning of Mercury. Once it like, ameliorates or whatever, then everything will be DANDY.

Then we sat in front of the heater affirming our freedom and financial independence (15 minutes a day for three months, right?) before saying goodnight.

Apologies in advance

Sometimes when I look at Hagakure 419 I get this song in my head ... Camptown Races, you know the one ... try it
Ha ga ku re 4 1 9, doo dah, doo dah

It certainly gets annoying, doesn't it?

Welcome

Welcome to the most boring blog in the world. I've been working really hard on getting things to this stage, and I think you'll find that I've done a pretty good job, even if I do say so myself. Things were touch and go at the beginning there; words were added, thoughts were aired (I'm not saying it was right), but since those shaky beginnings I'm proud to have really gotten rid of all of those petty attempts at creating 'points of interest' and 'entertainment' and what-have-you. The last seven weeks or so have been the purest in my blogging life. I know I can't truly convey what this journey has been like for me; I can simply be glad you were travelling with me. Even though you may not have known it at the time.